Answers to the National Organization for Marriage’s Questions, Number 5

On the National Organization for Marriage website, NOM answers questions supposedly posed to them by the opposition.

The question to NOM, Number 5.  Why do you want to interfere with love?

NOM's Answer: “Love is a great thing. But marriage isn't just any kind of love; it’s the special love of husband and wife for each other and their children.”

So, if marriage is a "special love of husband and wife for each other and their children,” then it follows that if that same love is between two people of the same sex (whether they are called husband and wife, or not), then marriage on that basis should not be opposed.  Yet it is.  It is, because for these folk and their supporters, it is inconceivable that same-sex love is qualitatively no different from heterosexual love.  Yet there is no difference.  To those who think otherwise, I have only one response: you don't know enough LGBTs who have formed families and been together for decades.

Many of these couples have children, often by adoption.  As stated in an earlier post, The American Psychological Association states in their official policy that "research has shown that the adjustment, development, and psychological well-being of children is unrelated to parental sexual orientation and that the children of lesbian and gay parents are as likely as those of heterosexual parents to flourish." http://www.apa.org/about/policy/parenting.aspx  There is also no qualitative difference between the love of same-sex couples for their children and that of heterosexual couples.  To those who think otherwise, I have only one response: you don't know enough LGBTs who have formed families and been together for decades.  

I learned in a college philosophy course that 

Aristotelian philosophers determined the number of teeth in a horse by rigorous application of logic.  They thought it unnecessary to actually examine a horse's mouth!  As with most ideologues, it is not necessary to examine actual situations, as they know before the fact that they are right.  Their ideology does their thinking for them.  So, for those who believe that same-sex marriage is qualitatively and morally inferior, there is no need to actually get to know same-sex families and the literature surveying the field.  The question is answered for them already.  

"Love is a great thing."  Just as with the apostle John's description of the Holy Spirit, love moves where it wills.  It is not confined to a fixed setting, especially that fixed by others.  It finds its way into people and situations of all kinds, asking only that it be reciprocated, not restricted or condemned.  And it ultimately will overcome all obstacles, not only in individual's lives, but in all things.  For love is of God, and God will prevail, for God is love.  Therefore, we are tampering with God's self when we put obstacles in the way of those who would love.  On this ground, I would walk carefully.

One last thought.  I write not of emotional love alone.  I write of that self-sacrificing love that gives of itself for no reward but the well-being of the beloved, be it spouse or children.  I write of the love that nurtures its beloved out of the single desire for wholesome growth.  I write of the love that is willing to forego its own interests for that of the beloved.  I write of the love that is sustained through thick and thin, through disagreements and disappointments, in sickness and in health, regardless of a marriage certificate.  I write of a love I personally know of by virtue of actually getting to know many of these couples and families.  Before I did this, I couldn't imagine any of this could be true.  Now I can't imagine why anyone would think that now.