Answers to the National Organization for Marriage’s Questions, Number 8

On the National Organization for Marriage website, NOM answers questions supposedly posed to them by the opposition.

The question to NOM, Number 8.  Are you saying gays cannot be good parents?

NOM's Answer: “Two men might each be a good father, but neither can be a mom. The ideal for children is the love of their own mom and dad. No same-sex couple can provide that.”

Setting aside for a moment the notion that mom and dad represent the ideal, single mothers, single fathers, grandparents, a grandfather, a grandmother, various uncles and aunts, all are at this moment raising children.  Simply because these are not the "ideal" situation does not in any way keep so-called "lessor" configurations from raising children.  Here the proverb, "Don't let excellence become the enemy of the good," seems to make its point.  By virtue of circumstance, children are often placed in situations that don't permit a mother and father.  Every effort is made to keep them with their closest relative.  Why? Because it is known that children are better off with their relatives than in a state supervised institution or foster family. Yet, for the National Organization for Marriage and their supporters, two men or two women who want to raise a child are singularly deemed unworthy.  This makes no sense on the face of it.  

I don't see NOM urging that divorced people, or widowed mothers or fathers, should have their children taken from them simply because a mother or father is not now present.  Too many of their supporters fit this description and they would have a serious rebellion on their hands.  Yet they don't think twice that maybe, just maybe, two men or two women might be suitable parents.

Significant policy decisions have been swayed by the misconception across party lines that children need both a mother and a father. Yet, there is almost no social science research to support this claim. One problem is that proponents of this view routinely ignore research on same-gender parents," said sociologist Timothy Biblarz of the USC College of Letters, Arts and Sciences.  http://www.usc.edu/uscnews/newsroom/news_release.php?id=684       

As a matter of fact, just as gays have had very successful careers in the military long before "Don't ask, don't tell," was eliminated, so have LGBTs been raising children successfully all along.  We don't have to wonder if they will make good soldiers; they already do.  We don't have to wonder if they will make good parents; they already are.  This is not a social experiment; it is a social reality.  And they live just down the street from you.

And with all the orphans languishing across the world, wouldn't having a gay parent or two be preferable to none at all?  At least the child would be wanted and loved which goes a long way toward a successful outcome.  Yet NOM would keep these children parent-less.  It just makes one wonder if homophobia may be more than a word, for there is no reasonable explanation for not urging same-sex parenting.