The Slow Demise of Exodus International and the Rise of Gay Acceptance

When Exodus International started 37 years ago, it had the wind at its back. In 1976, the Gay Rights Movement was just beginning to be heard from, most Americans didn't give homosexuality a second thought except perhaps to condemn it, and the professional organizations, which soon would reevaluate their opinions, were treating gayness as a psychological disorder. So when Exodus International announced its program of helping LGBTs "return to normal" (heterosexuality), many were prepared to endorse it and thousands of gays submitted to reparative therapy. So what went wrong, so wrong in fact that Exodus International had to shut it doors forever?

Several factors are involved, of course. The primary one is the failure of reparative therapy to produce the results they advertised. No combination of aversion therapy, shock treatments (yes!), prayer, peer pressure or even self-loathing could make the miracle of change happen. It became clear early on that what was actually happening was gays who were horrified at the thought of spending eternity in hell were sublimating at best and ignoring at worst their same-sex desires that never went away.  In fact, Alan Chambers, the departing executive director of Exodus International confessed that 99.9% of all the gays he knew in the program did not change. So they were counseled on how to defend against these unwanted desires with spiritual practices that also did not work. This prompted a former Exodus International board member to actually suggest that Exodus International change its motto from "Change is possible through Jesus Christ," to "Come suffer with us."  And suffer they did.

Reparative therapy, itself, is based on a false theory of homosexual origination.  The repair aspect is devoted to repairing the poor relationship a gay man has with his father, which is seen as the primary reason that gays seek out other men: their fathers failed to provide proper emotional support while they were growing up. Distant fathers AND mothers are to blame. This theory is wholly unsupported by all the major professional organizations that are charged with researching and supporting psychological health. I actually heard Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, the major proponent of reparative therapy in America today, tell parents of gay children that they should not blame themselves. Not because they failed in their childrearing, but because society failed them by making it so difficult to raise children.  Somehow, I don't think this was comforting.

Over time, the accumulating body of ex-ex-gays could not be ignored and their message began to overwhelm the "change" message of Exodus International  In fact, Exodus International actually changed its motto not too long before it closed to "Reaching the world in grace and truth." That is quite a departure from their original intention and may foreshadow the new direction of this ministry, albeit, under a different name and institutional configuration.

Then in 1973 the wind left their back: the American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder. The American Psychological Association followed in 1975. Other major mental health organizations followed and eventually the World Health Organization declassified it in 1990. Exodus International and its reparative therapy allies no longer had a leg to stand on.  All they could do was help the deeply religious  to cope with their situation.

Yesterday's post details those people and organizations that confronted Exodus International over the years with their abysmal failure to achieve their goal of transformation. No longer could Exodus International trot out their "success stories" because too many of them denounced the program and admitted they did not change.  There was no place for them to go except to close.

Although I am ecstatic over this news, I also feel a sense of honor is due to Chambers and his board.  Yes, Chambers engaged in hyperbole (if not outright lying) in leading his organization, and yes, many lives were destroyed in the process. In the end, Chambers admitted all this, asked for forgiveness and called a stop to the program. This is so much more than Nicolosi of NARTH, Joe Dallas of Genesis Counseling, Andrew Comiskey of Desert Stream Ministries, and dozens of fellow-travelers are willing to do--and should. Only the future activities of Chambers will confirm his sincerity. One thing is for sure: he is off to a good start.

So it turns out that the most important reason Exodus International closed its doors is that its most celebrated  example of "change through the power of Jesus Christ" hasn't changed, can't change, and finally admits it. With that truth staring Chambers in his own face, how could he, with any integrity, continue the deception? He details his apology in the video below. I hope that it will be taken to heart by the many, many others in the false hope of change business so that countless lives will be spared this evil delusion.

Exodus Head Alan Chambers' Full Apology to the LGBT Community

In an unprecedented admission, Alan Chambers, president of the so-called "ex-gay" organization Exodus International, apologizes to survivors of "reparative therapy" who feel they were harmed by the organization. Watch the full, uncut apology here. More videos and information can be found here, thanks to Lisa Ling and oprah.com http://www.oprah.com/own-our-america-lisa-ling/Sneak-Peak-Lisa-Lings-Special-Report-God-and-Gays-Video

The Gay Agenda, Pt. 2

Prelude to the Gay Agenda Series

The fact that there is a gay agenda, at least on the part of the leaders of the Gay Rights Movement, should not be understood as anything out of the ordinary.  All movements have agendas, including political parties, religious organizations and nonprofit enterprises like the Red Cross.  So simply having goals they want accomplished should not be off-putting.  It is a normal function of modern movements that want to advance their causes.  

However, many opponents of the gay agenda are trying to make it look like there is something underfoot akin to the subversive activities of the communists of the 1950s, along with a corresponding witch hunt.  When I finish with this series which focuses on the publicly declared and commonly held items of this agenda, I will list some of the more outrageous charges that act more as red herrings than actual concerns.   I hope to show that, regardless of the hysteria surrounding the reality of a gay agenda, these are reasonable, responsible and valuable contributions to the public square.  (Not withstanding the outlandish charges masquerading as part of the agenda, but are only made up by the opposition.)  This is why I chose an opponent of the gay rights movement's (John Rankin) list of what he sees as the gay agenda, as it is, except for the last two, a fair assessment of it.

This quote combines the second and third items in John Rankin's list of the gay agenda.  See the full list here.  

"Define homosexual identity and behavior as a 'normal' and healthy 'variant' within the plurality of the human community, and call for 'toleration' of it."  And "Move from “toleration” of it as a “normal variant,” to a full “acceptance” of its intrinsic nature as being equal with that of heterosexuality."

If homosexuality were, indeed, an unhealthy aberration of the human condition, we should not tolerate it.  We should do all we can to alleviate the condition and bring its victims as much relief as possible.  If the above agenda items were pursued by means of propaganda and false science with the goal of making something aberrant seem justified, then we would be acting responsibly to oppose it. But this is far from the case.

There have been many in very responsible positions who championed the gay rights cause in and out of the scientific community.  Over the last 50 years, all the major psychological and psychiatric professional organizations have investigated the subject of homosexuality from every possible angle and determined that homosexuality is a normal and healthy variant within the plurality of the human community. Here is a representative statement from the American Psychological Association:

Is homosexuality a mental disorder:
No, lesbian, gay, and bisexual orientations are not disorders. Research has found no inherent association between any of these sexual orientations and psychopathology. Both heterosexual behavior and homosexual behavior are normal aspects of human sexuality. Both have been documented in many different cultures and historical eras. Despite the persistence of stereotypes that portray lesbian, gay, and bisexual people as disturbed, several decades of research and clinical experience have led all mainstream medical and mental health organizations in this country to conclude that these orientations represent normal forms of human experience. Lesbian, gay, and bisexual relationships are normal forms of human bonding. Therefore, these mainstream organizations long ago abandoned classifications of homosexuality as a mental disorder.

The APA goes on to state that the only real problem associated with homosexuality is the unwarranted stigma that some in society wish to perpetuate, and the deleterious effects this can have on individuals.

Given the overwhelming documented results of the research, it can be affirmed that homosexuality is a normal, albeit, minority sexual orientation, and that it, in itself, engenders no mental health risks to homosexuals. By virtue of this, it must be considered a respectable orientation along with heterosexuality, and bisexuality, and toleration of gays and lesbians is the least we can do as a society. Ultimately, LGBTs deserve full acceptance and integration into all aspects of life. To do any less is to perpetuate what Byrne Fone of Harvard calls the last respectable bigotry in America.

As an agenda of the LGBT community, it is a legitimate and hugely successful agenda item. Because it is true.

So we are now left to wonder why it is that some do wish to perpetuate the now outdated and ill informed notions that gays and lesbians should be shunned, reprogrammed,  even persecuted.  Gay bashing is still done across America, and violence continues to be directed at them.

One statistic jumps out at those of us who wonder: It's the most religious Christians who are the most hostile to gay rights. That is, the most conservatively religious. Is it any wonder when Sunday after Sunday they get inundated with anti gay messages?  Just as with the global warming deniers, who deny it in the face of overwhelming evidence to support it, and with 98% of all climate scientists agreeing, churches continue to pedal anti gay "scholarship" that no respectable seminary or university would tolerate. And they have a professional organization, one, which tries, vainly, to uphold the anti gay end of the debate. There is no harbor safe for them; they are all occupied by people of good will who are armed with first rate evidence and no longer sit on the sidelines.

Yes, we've moved well past tolerance and are now accepting LGBTs as rightfully a part of our world and working diligently to get the proper information out.  Keep reading this blog; I hope to provide you with the most up to date and meaningful information I can.

TOMORROW: The Gay Agenda, Pt. 3 Gain ecclesiastical, legal and social “approval” of the personal and social “goodness” of homosexuality, and call it “gay.  And, Translate this “approval” into leadership positions – especially ordination status in the church and political office in the culture. 

What every parent of a gay child needs to know: 3. Your child is just fine

You need assurance that your child is all right, not because there is any doubt in the minds of professionals, but because of society's fear of the different, the "other," that has made even left-handedness suspicious.  So false stereotypes exist that continue to make life uneasy for you and your child. You may also worry because bullying and overt discrimination work against those who are perceived as different.  I don't want to lead you to believe that life will be rosy.  On the contrary, there will be obstacles in the way of your child that are not present for straight children.  But there is a lot of good will and support available to you, as well.

I am concerned, first of all, that you understand that there is nothing psychologically, physiologically,or mentally about your child that is considered unusual or cause for concern.

Listen to these professionals:

The American Psychological Association released a Statement on Homosexuality in July of 1994. The opening paragraphs are:

The research on homosexuality is very clear. Homosexuality is neither mental illness nor moral depravity. It is simply the way a minority of our population expresses human love and sexuality. Study after study documents the mental health of gay men and lesbians. Studies of judgment, stability, reliability, and social and vocational adaptiveness all show that gay men and lesbians function every bit as well as heterosexuals.  

Nor is homosexuality a matter of individual choice. Research suggests that the homosexual orientation is in place very early in the life cycle, possibly even before birth. It is found in about ten percent of the population, a figure which is surprisingly constant across cultures, irrespective of the different moral values and standards of a particular culture. Contrary to what some imply, the incidence of homosexuality in a population does not appear to change with new moral codes or social mores. Research findings suggest that efforts to repair homosexuals are nothing more than social prejudice garbed in psychological accouterments.

This affirmation of the normalcy of gays and lesbians is across the board of professional associations, including the American Psychiatric Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, American Counseling Association, American Association of School Administrators, American Federation of Teachers, American School Health Association, Interfaith Alliance Foundation, National Association of School Psychologists, National Association of Social Workers, and the National Education Association.  Therefore, if you have any fear that your child may be somehow deficient as a human being, put those fears away for good.  There is no basis for it except in the minds of those who refuse to look at the facts.

The biggest obstacle to understanding the normalcy of nonheterosexuals is not knowing many or any.  As long as we insulate ourselves from the community, we will never get to see them as we see ourselves.  When I first moved to San Francisco, I took with me all the negative stereotypes that had formed me as a young man.  Yes, the flamboyancy was there, the sexual promiscuity was there.  But what I soon discovered was the promiscuity of my straight peers was its equal, and that the gay community as a whole was no different from any other.  They were also forming families, raising children, going to church, and leading very indistinguishable lives. In fact, being gay is so ordinary that most gays are not identifiable without self-labeling.    You are living among many of them and you don't even know it.  This may possibly even included your own child.

If you take the step to inform yourself by going to gay community centers or PFLAG meetings, for instance, you will see what I mean.  If there is an Open and Affirming church in your community, that's a great place to begin.  Once, African Americans were considered inferior, and were not allowed to marry whites in some states (up to 1964!).  Now one is the president of the United States.  We were able to see this remarkable transition unfold in a lifetime because whites got to know blacks and the stereotypes were debunked.  The more we get to know our gay and lesbian neighbors, the quicker we will move as a society away from their crude and highly misleading stereotypes.

So, your child is normal.  Well, kind of, and in an OK kind of way:

MONDAY: Will my son get HIV/AIDS?

Answers to the National Organization for Marriage’s Questions, Number 5

On the National Organization for Marriage website, NOM answers questions supposedly posed to them by the opposition.

The question to NOM, Number 5.  Why do you want to interfere with love?

NOM's Answer: “Love is a great thing. But marriage isn't just any kind of love; it’s the special love of husband and wife for each other and their children.”

So, if marriage is a "special love of husband and wife for each other and their children,” then it follows that if that same love is between two people of the same sex (whether they are called husband and wife, or not), then marriage on that basis should not be opposed.  Yet it is.  It is, because for these folk and their supporters, it is inconceivable that same-sex love is qualitatively no different from heterosexual love.  Yet there is no difference.  To those who think otherwise, I have only one response: you don't know enough LGBTs who have formed families and been together for decades.

Many of these couples have children, often by adoption.  As stated in an earlier post, The American Psychological Association states in their official policy that "research has shown that the adjustment, development, and psychological well-being of children is unrelated to parental sexual orientation and that the children of lesbian and gay parents are as likely as those of heterosexual parents to flourish." http://www.apa.org/about/policy/parenting.aspx  There is also no qualitative difference between the love of same-sex couples for their children and that of heterosexual couples.  To those who think otherwise, I have only one response: you don't know enough LGBTs who have formed families and been together for decades.  

I learned in a college philosophy course that 

Aristotelian philosophers determined the number of teeth in a horse by rigorous application of logic.  They thought it unnecessary to actually examine a horse's mouth!  As with most ideologues, it is not necessary to examine actual situations, as they know before the fact that they are right.  Their ideology does their thinking for them.  So, for those who believe that same-sex marriage is qualitatively and morally inferior, there is no need to actually get to know same-sex families and the literature surveying the field.  The question is answered for them already.  

"Love is a great thing."  Just as with the apostle John's description of the Holy Spirit, love moves where it wills.  It is not confined to a fixed setting, especially that fixed by others.  It finds its way into people and situations of all kinds, asking only that it be reciprocated, not restricted or condemned.  And it ultimately will overcome all obstacles, not only in individual's lives, but in all things.  For love is of God, and God will prevail, for God is love.  Therefore, we are tampering with God's self when we put obstacles in the way of those who would love.  On this ground, I would walk carefully.

One last thought.  I write not of emotional love alone.  I write of that self-sacrificing love that gives of itself for no reward but the well-being of the beloved, be it spouse or children.  I write of the love that nurtures its beloved out of the single desire for wholesome growth.  I write of the love that is willing to forego its own interests for that of the beloved.  I write of the love that is sustained through thick and thin, through disagreements and disappointments, in sickness and in health, regardless of a marriage certificate.  I write of a love I personally know of by virtue of actually getting to know many of these couples and families.  Before I did this, I couldn't imagine any of this could be true.  Now I can't imagine why anyone would think that now.